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We Were Warned

We Were Warned

I just rewatched the original The Terminator, and it didn’t feel like nostalgia. It felt like watching a warning label we all peeled off and threw away. Judgment Day was August 29, 1997. Nuclear fire. Skynet becomes self-aware. Humanity nearly wipes itself out in a...
Wait. Nick Torres Is Fez?!

Wait. Nick Torres Is Fez?!

I thought I was having a safe, low-risk evening. Couch. Background TV. Brain mostly offline. I’m half-watching Grey’s Anatomy, which at this point isn’t really a show so much as a weather pattern. You don’t sit down to watch Grey’s Anatomy. It just happens around you...
Almost Legal? Yeah Right.

Almost Legal? Yeah Right.

Once again, we’re being told this might be the moment. The federal government may reclassify marijuana from Schedule I to Schedule III. And before anyone rushes in to say “actually, that matters,” yes—it does. This isn’t nothing. Schedule III would mean cannabis...
The Gospel of the Gimp Stick

The Gospel of the Gimp Stick

A couple of days ago, during a bed-to-chair transfer, I sneezed with the lifestyle commitment of a category-whatever hurricane. My entire body tried to relocate itself without permission, leaving me with two prime choices: launch face-first into the wall and leave a...